i'm gonna love you with my life.

good morning everyone. yet another day of summer has come, and i don't have any plans today. mmm. anton cancelled! buttface.<3 tomorrow! ahaha.
i didn't get much sleep last night, considering how i went to sleep at six o clock. i really need to stop thinking at night, it keeps me up.
there are things i will proably never understand, but i can't stop myself from trying to. so many questions run through my head unanswered, and so many "what ifs?". i don't know how things are like this. is there a point in trying anymore? my heart beats fsater everytime i see you, but does that really say anything? these words you choose to tell me, your feelings, are they real? do you bullshit me? i don't know. i try hard to believe but sometimes it just doesn't come through. and why are you still here? you say horrible things that you supposedly don't mean, but how do i know that? what's your reason for still being here? no one's making you stay, not even me.
anyway.
beach tomorrow with cat, gisi, and carno. GOD i miss those girls. <3 it'll be a fun day. and then an evening with anton. planning stuff. ahaha. mmmm. i look foward to the rest of this week. at least some things can keep me up. :)