sometimes i wonder...

what is special about me?
idk.
i feel pretty plain jane lately.
everyone i know can do something so great.
and do it well.
i feel average next to other poeple.
yeah, i can sing.
so what.
i can't compose songs.
and i can barely play the piano.
i need to find some sort of calling.
i dont know what it is, but something that makes me unique.
right now, i'm pretty content with everything i have.
but get tired of being the same girl everyone expects me to be.
i'm going to surprise you.
one day.
i will.
you'll see.

idontcare...

yes i do.
but i have to pretend that i don't.
because it makes you happy.
becuase that's what i'm supposed to do.
give.
i don't want to take as much.
i don't want to seem selfish.
i'm trying to be the girl you love.
if that person really is me.
i'm afraid if i express my true feelings,
you'll walk away in frustration.
"you're just like every other girl."
i don't want you to think that i see myself as a princess.
being selfless is hard.
this one thing just happens to be special to me.
but if you hate it that much,
i'll go on pretending i hate it too.





but i dont.

hard to believe.

yeah. quartets were no good today.
i seriously felt like i was going to BLOW UP.
right ruth? you saw me!
GOD.
STOP relying on other people.
STOP thinking that singing is easy.
STOP texting in class while we're singing.
STOP taking this class as a joke.
STOP bringing all the people who work down.
STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP.

please?


PLUS.
you are a TROUBADOUR.
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR PART BY NOW?!



gah.
i need some yogurt.

is anybody listening?

I really do not enjoy having sectionals in choir. They are pointless and useless because no one ever really listens. We don't really ever accomplish anything, especially in Concert Choir. Most of the time in Troubadours we do, but in CC, most of the members don't care enough to pay attention. It makes me really upset becuase tomorrow when we have octets/quartets, they will complain about how Tison picks on them and how its such a drag. Personally, I like doing quartets and think they're fun becuase I get to show off whthat I know. And if the others also knew their part, then it wouldn't be such a death senence to them.
Today, I brought something up with Jackie to Mr. TIson about how there were some people not knowing their parts as well as they should. Normally I would just keep it to myself, but it was really eating at me. We've had these songs for about a month now, so shouldn't we know most of it? Most of the time I feel like I'm singing by myself and the only one that is actually attempting at singing our part. Just becuase you don't know it entirely doesn't mean you stop singing. Keep singing and make the mistake. That's how I learn, from my own mistakes. Quartets in Troubadours tomorrow, I'm pretty prepared for it, but I plan to go over my music later.

I woke up an hour late from my nap today. So now everything is pushed back.
I need to finished my homework, I have tons.
Feels good when everything is all done and put away though.
:)

BTW RUTH! I prayed that you would pass your driving test!

island.

catalina was a blast.
there are too many things to say about it.
so if you want to know. :)
call me.
teheheheheeeee.







troubadours<3